Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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