I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
