I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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