3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
