I think i peed on brittanys purse
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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