so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Alive.
So much puke
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
