great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
