Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
