omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
