You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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