Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize