My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
