I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
