One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
