so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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