So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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