She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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