Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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