The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
