I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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