Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
