did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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