I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
