therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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