His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Farmville is her only friend.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
two words...techno handjob
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
