I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
