can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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