If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's shark week go big or go home
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
