I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
