I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I checked into jail on foursquare
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
