she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
