I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
