So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
