Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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