Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
