I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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