chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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