dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
