I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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