where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
