Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
