That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
