It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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