New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
