i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
