Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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