It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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