It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
