I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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