I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
