He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
