We won't sleep together?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need to calm my uterus...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
